Today I sat down with my Bible and my journal to talk to God.
But instead, I found myself reading back over old prayers that I've
scribbled over countless pages in the past two years. As I read over what
is essentially a record of my relationship with Jesus, I could not help but see
His faithfulness to me. I saw His provision in the face of uncertainty.
I saw His forgiveness in the face of my sin. I saw His call and His
vision for me in the face of my typical 20-something crisis of WHAT DO I DO
WITH MY LIFE!?!
After all that nice reflecting, I tried to
continue with my quiet time, because, let’s be serious, I have OTHER things
I need to do today. Nope. Not happening. My heart started to get that uncomfortable
itchy feeling most commonly known as conviction, and I could feel myself
starting to squirm. It suddenly occurred
to me the extent to which I have kept this journey with Jesus to myself. I mean, I’ve talked to anyone who would
listen to me about my struggles, my fears, my insecurities, my personal and
family hardships…..But have I really told people, Christian or otherwise, what
God has been up to in me? Honestly? Not really.
I’ve hedged. I’ve stuttered. I’ve whispered and mumbled, all while doing
my very best to please the people around me and to appear as normal and
acceptable as possible. As my graduation
from college draws near, exactly two months from today, I am realizing that
this is no longer acceptable. That’s why
I couldn’t have a quiet time today. The
time for being quiet, the time for keeping things just between me and God, has
passed. At some point I’m going to have
to own Christ and own the vision He has given me, in spite of the fact that I
fear what people will think of me. Um. So yeah.
I guess….here we go.
On December 18, 2014 I will graduate from North Carolina State
University with a Masters in Teaching Social Studies to complement my Bachelors
in History. Many of you have asked, and
will continue to ask, what I am doing after that. My answer to you has varied. Usually, I vaguely mention something about teaching
overseas, “maybe”, “If God works it out” but “I might stay here if I get a job
right away”, “You know, we’ll just see what God does….” If people push, I might mention a school in
Spain where I have some “connections”.
In these conversations I have done my best to remain non-committal, and
frankly rather wishy-washy. In reality,
I’m not at all unsure about what this all looks like, I’m just nervous to REALLY tell
you about it. So let me give you the
real answer to the question, “What are your plans for after you graduate?”
I’m going to be a missionary.
I have already gone through an extensive application process with a
missions organization called One Mission Society (OMS). I have flown to their headquarters, I have
been interviewed, I have been accepted, and even gone through some preliminary
training. I have told many of you about
some school in Spain where I am interested in teaching. Let me explain what that actually means. Just outside of Madrid, in a small village
called Camarma de Esteruelas, there is a school called Evangelical Christian
Academy, or ECA for short. It is a school
that primarily educates the children of missionaries, and I have officially accepted
a position with them as a high school history teacher, where I will most likely be teaching
World History and Psychology.
Spain is a country of atheists and Muslims, and the Lord has been
calling Missionaries from all over the world to go and spread His Gospel
there. Having traveled to Spain about a
year and a half ago, I have spent time with these missionaries and seen up
close what their lives are like on a day to day basis. I have watched as they walked up and down the
back streets of Madrid offering water, sandwiches, and prayer to the thousands
of prostitutes and homeless that populate the city. I have listened to them boldly preaching the
Gospel in Spanish and English to both the local and the tourist as they pass by the
city square. I have sat with them in
house churches as they teach Spaniards what it means that God knows and loves
them. But I saw more than just their
ministry; I saw their worries, and their
burdens. Spain’s economy has never
recovered from the most recent recession.
Jobs are scarce, and the education system is in shambles. Spaniards often treat foreigners with racism
and open contempt for fear that they have come to steal the few positions
available. As these missionaries pour
out their lives in service of the Lord, they pray, “Lord what about my
children? How do I educate my children
in this place?” Christian missionary
teachers are the answer to those prayers.
ECA functions as a ministry to missionaries and as such, it cannot pay its
teachers, primarily because missionaries cannot afford to pay tuition for their children
to attend there. We, the current and future teachers at ECA, must be sent,
supported and prayed for, because we too are missionaries. Missionaries and their children are our
primary ministry. As soon as I graduate,
I will start support raising, and my goal is to be in Spain ready to teach by
August of 2015. I can no longer act as if this
is a might or a maybe or some far off pipe dream.
It is a vision for ministry and it is my true passion- God forgive me
for all the times I have tried to squelch this into something impossible
because it seemed too big, too hard, and too far away, for someone like me. God is faithful, and even though this
overwhelms me at times, I am confident, that “He who began a good work in me
will carry it on to completion”
Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this! Please keep me in your prayers as I continue
to take the necessary steps forward. You
will be receiving more information and updates from me in the future, but in
the meantime, below are some links and videos that will tell you more about ECA and it's ministry as well as my missions agency OMS!
